Battle of the Sexes

April 3, 2009 § 4 Comments

The fighting or “martial” arts started the day Grunk picked up a lump of wood and hit Oink on the head, most likely for winning the favor of a female. Noticing “success”, Grunk and his friends, figured out the best way to hit Oink’s people with sticks, clubs, and fists.

The women of Oink’s people had no problem being captured because, apparently, these males had stronger genes. And they didn’t kill their children, or maybe they did …

Oink and his friends wanted the women back. The elders of their tribe realized “no women, no continuity of tribe”, or maybe Dick just had something to do with it, and “minimum effort, maximum impact”. Keep ’em at hand. Now not at hand. Have to get up from the couch. Something like that. They trained together, so they could beat Grunk and his friends.

Over the generations, the women traveled between the tribes like this, and that was good for health and fitness of the genepool too. Male children were taught how to be a success in marketing themselves to women. And vv, for there must be favor to be won in this system, and it doesn’t hurt to have a lot of it. Inspiration for men! After all, that gets you the best genes. And training works best when learning the best practices/moves in a playful manner.

Tahtib for example, is practiced as a true martial art from horseback known as “Horse Stepping”, on foot, as a combative dance between men, or as a more social dance by men. It is also mimicked in a flirty or cute version of the real movements by women.


And with that, I declare all dancing arts that excite men, true martial arts. Belly dancing, when practiced seriously for the beauty and joy of producing “perfect” movements, is a martial art. Perfect fools in the tradition of controlled folly. And in the battle of the sexes, we women win, always. Admit it, guys. And we hope to win gracefully.

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